Searching for Solace
by MidnightWhisper7
Summary: Of Tifa, journeys, and ghosts. Sometimes the light came with its sacrifices.


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**Note: **This was written for a fic exchange on Livejournal. It's based off a theory I read on a message board that Tifa in KH2 is really a ghost. I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

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It had been eight years since she had seen him last, since the place she called home was drawn into the darkness. She was running, blindly, searching for the boy with the face of a child and the eyes of an adult. Laughter like thunder, and the sword of General Sephiroth shining in the light of the burning town. Yellow eyes in the blackness, and screams ringing in her ears. Claws ripping at her skirt and his blue eyes, saving her. He turned, swords clashed in a river of blond and silver. Someone grabbed her hand, her friend Aerith, green eyes strangely calm, pulling her away as she called his name. She separated from the survivors in Traverse Town, and chased him across worlds, following the light in her heart and what was left in his. All she had was a name and a memory.

She traveled among the vast stars, bartering passage on Gummi vessels with the little money she had, offering to work on the ship to earn her keep. She ate and slept little, training until her legs felt like lead and her heart seemed to tear from her chest. She had no map or compass, no photographs or letters, but only her intuition. On a small backwater planet with rough bars and rougher residents, she learned of a yellow-haired man carring a large sword on his back. She rented space on a warrior's ship and headed to Olympus. The grumpy goat-legged satyr who greeted her at the door said he knew a man named Cloud, who had left two years ago on a Gummi ship that had arrived from another world. She left again to find this new world, reaching for the darkness that lay in his heart. She dragged herself across stardust and comets, her strength and resolve never fading, even as her body burned away. She became a ghost of flesh and bone, unlike a Heartless in that instead of darkness she was only light. But her heart ceased to beat, her skin was pale and cold. A star shone in the distance, brighter than any other. That was where she headed.

Finally, she was home. It was only a shadow of what it had been: the castle, once a magnificent structure of pale marble shining in the sun, was torn with ugly bronze pipes and untamed vines, meek and feeble next to the towering costruction equipment. Once she had walked among beautiful lush gardens among gleaming houses, smelling the bright flowers and laughing in the sunshine. Now the streets were lined with rubble, the verdant hills a barren rocky wasteland, the air filled with smoke and dust. She walked through the cobblestone streets, thinking of the times she had run through them laughing, in a game of tag or hide-and-seek, tugging Cloud along by the hand as he protested that he had to go to fencing practice. There was no laughter now. The few children she passed were solemn as they carried tools to the workers or helped their parents with chores.

She passed by the workers and merchants, a shadow among them, invisible in their view. Eventually her eyes settled on the towers of the castle gleaming in the autumn sunlight. She started towards it, her feet following familiar paths she had often traveled as a child. She had never been inside the castle, as council meetings were reserved for meetings of the privileged class (mostly esteemed lords, merchants, and scientists). However, children were allowed to play in the courtyards, and that was were she met Cloud and Aerith. Cloud was a soldier's son and lived in the barracks, and Aerith was the daughter of a middle-class merchant, and sold flowers to help her father. They became almost unseparable, and later met a studious loner named Squall and an optimistic girl named Rinoa. When she did reach the castle entrance, she found it nearly buried in blue rock formations and ugly pipes. The gates stood crushed and rusted, the emblem of Ansem the Wise twisted like origami. As she stood in front of the decayed castle, she knew that she would find what she was looking for.

The deep halls of the castle basement, the only part left intact, were cold and damp, Heartless staring from the shadows with their luminous eyes. She opened every door she passed, searching through aged documents, diagrams showing the anatomy of the heart and human mind, and chemical tests half-finished sitting on dust-covered tables. Finally she reached a door at the end of a long white hall. She found no man with yellow hair, but a boy with eyes like the sky and two strange talking animals. She had heard of the three: Sora, the fate of the worlds, and his two companions searching for their lost king. They saw her as a normal person, and she wondered at this boy and the light that seemed to shine from his smile. She drifted in like a black-clad cloud and away again, leaving them baffled and staring. She could wait for no one; she had only one thing on her mind. She left the castle with no clues for her search, yet on her way she saw a man with scruffy brown hair and a gunblade, and a girl with eyes like the hills of the country and a long braid. Squall and Aerith. Squall's face was serious, thoughtful, unheeding of anything around him. Aerith was talking gently, placing a hand on his arm. Tifa thought, although she wasn't sure, that Aerith glanced at her as she walked by.

Days later, the Heartless invaded. She helped the boy of the Keyblade fight the creatures, and she broke through them with kicks and punches that could break through steel. Years of martial arts training made the battles quicker, although it need not have mattered. Her light burned their claws,  
and there was no heart for them to steal. She started back for the borough, although on the way a navy-blue and brown blur passed her by, shrieking with glee. She glanced over her shoulder, smiling, as Yuffie's shuriken hit a Heartless in the eye. Even eight years later, Yuffie was the same as ever. As she stood at the top of the wall defending the city, she thought she could see yellow among the black.

At night she passed by warmly-lit houses, laundry swinging like pale phantoms on its lines. She came to a clean wooden house, windows shut against the cold. She gazed past the white curtains and looked into a dining room. The table was neat, and she smiled slightly as she recognized her friends. Aerith poured tea as she laughed, and Tifa knew it was a quiet and gentle laughter. Cid, the man who had saved them those years ago, was talking excitedly, waving his hands for emphasis. Yuffie was helping Aerith serve the drinks, nearly spilling a glass of water in Squall's lap. He was leaning back in his chair, occassionally saying a comment, sometimes even smiling. When Aerith put a plate of food in front of him, his eyes lingered on her face and Tifa thought she saw Aerith blush. It was the same way he had once looked at Rinoa. She watched them as they ate (Aerith's cooking had always been delicious). It was nice to see them all together again, although there was something in her that regretted that she would never be a part of it again. Aerith passed by the window on the way to the sink after dinner was finished, and Tifa ducked out of sight. She didn't think they could see her, but all the same, she knew they couldn't help her.

The door opened, light spilling out onto the street. Tifa looked up, surprised.

"Aren't you cold?" Aerith asked. Her raspberry-colored sweater and corduroy pants were immaculate and free from wrinkles; she had always kept her clothes clean, except when it came to gardening. Her green eyes looked straight into Tifa's coffee-colored ones. Tifa considered saying no, but had never lied to Aerith and didn't want to start. Although they were only two years apart, Aerith had been like an older, kinder, wiser sister to her.

"Yes," she finally replied. "So you can see me too."

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" Aerith asked. She sat next to Tifa where she leaned against the side of the house.

"Guess not. But you should know that I'm not really 'me' anymore. I think the light did this." She held up her black-gloved hands. They felt real.

"I haven't seen you in a long time," Aerith said, her hands clasped loosely in her lap. "Were you looking for him?" She was watching Tifa's face carefully. The other girl looked at the ground, knees drawn up to her chest. She spoke quietly, musingly. "You were the only one he ever liked. I could always tell. I tried everything to make him happy, to get his attention. And we became friends I think." She looked at Aerith. "But he only really looked at you."

Aerith smiled, as enigmatic as usual. "I think I was trying to understand him," she said. "I wanted him to talk to me. You got him to laugh. That's  
the important thing."

"You think so?"

"He doesn't talk to me, even now. He's got a lot on his mind."

Tifa sighed. "I've been looking everywhere for him. I died for him. But now I don't know what to do."

"Keep searching," Aerith replied. "He's here."

"He's here? He really is?" Tifa jumped to her feet, excitement making her muscles jittery. "Where? How do I find him?"

Aerith stood up gracefully, brushing the dirt from her clothes. "Tomorrow go into the barren lands beyond the wall. You'll find him in front of the  
fortress down there."

Tifa hugged Aerith tightly. Her chestnut hair smelled like flowers. "Thank you! I will find him, I will! Tell the others 'hi' for me!" She ran away without another word towards the barracks, disappearing into the shadows.

Aerith watched her for a moment, knowing in her heart that she would never see Tifa or Cloud again. She went back to the warmth inside.

"Where were you, Aerith?" Yuffie asked, looking up from where she was playing cards with Cid.

"Talking to a friend," she replied calmly, sitting next to Leon to watch.

Tifa did find Cloud the next day, and confronted the man who had haunted her nightmares for years, with the man who haunted her waking thoughts. Light and dark met and clashed, and in the end they faded into the sky together. The next day Aerith sang a prayer as rain fell from the sky, and the land turned to green.


End file.
